Daily Moment of Zen

Niners Friday: Let's Do This

Here's the roundup of links for the day:

• Great story about the Niners supporting Dick Nolan.

• Delanie Walker is ready to get it done in VERNON's place.

• Another tough opponent for the Niners.

• The beer-man doesn't have much mileage.

• Frank Gore is frustrated. So am I.
  

Another classic Niner photo:

Daily Moment of Zen

1.21 Gigawatts: This Week's Power Rankings

• Yahoo. Niners are at #13 and #17.

• Fox Sports. Niners are at #19.

• ESPN. Niners are #15.

• CBS. Niners are #14.

Great Scott!

Niners Thursday: Poor Explanations and Other Nonsense

• The head of NFL officiating tried to explain away the VD catch drop from last week's game. His explanation was the VERNON's second foot only came down because of contact from Polamalu and the ball subsequently hit the ground. This is more plausible, but completely different from the call during the game. Either way, I'm still convinced we got hosed.
  

• Darrell Jackson is digging the SF vibe. Too bad he's exactly 40 years too late.

• News and notes from 49erland. Of interest:
  • Nolan likes the job Staley's been doing
  • Nedney officially had a yard added to his FG after review this week
  • Jonas Jennings got hurt in practice but should play
  • Holmgren is denying he made comments about beating the 49ers
  • Same broadcast team as last week: Kenny Albert, Darryl "Moose" Johnson, Tony "Fatass" Siragusa
  • Manny had his ACL surgery

Your classic 49er pic of the day. We're gonna keep posting these up as long as we can keep finding them on this crazy contraption that is the internet:


- Jerry Fucking Rice

Daily Moment of Zen

Brittney:

Niners Wednesday: Walrus Fight!

Some big moderately important news out of Niners HQ yesterday. They dumped Brandon Williams as returner in favor of the beer-man. Seems like the most interesting aspect of this move is that it's the first Nolan-McGloughan pick in the first few rounds that hasn't panned out for the 49ers. Here's hoping this is the exception to the norm.

Walrus Fight!

Turns out LAllen was just trying to calm Mr. Jennings down after they let up a sack.

Here's a roundup of the interesting links for the day:

• Nancy Gay isn't a huge fan of on-the-job training, but is hopeful it will lead to improvements.
• Lowell Cohn of the Press-Democrat say's the 49ers need "it", but can't really define "it". Seems an awful lot like he's talking about confidence.
• USA Today has a profile of P-Willy.
• Maiocco agrees with John Clayton about the Niners losing the battle in the trenches.

I would be a fool not to include this while it's still up on YouTube:


- Kevin Fucking Gogan

Daily Moment of Zen

Johanna:

Alex Smith: Prime-Time Playa

I've sent this out to some of you via e-mail, but I thought it was worthy of a post. My boy Cleve was doing some browsing of the interweb and stumbled across this photo of Alex Smith:

First off, I'm glad to see that #11 parties a little. I'm glad he's no Sex Cannon, or miniature troll doll, but a little personality makes me like the guy a lot more.

So who is #11's girl? None other than the new Warrior Girl Heather. No, couldn't be, you say. Well, you be the judge:

Credit Cleve, who has sharp eyes, and was following the Warriors Girl Vote-Off perhaps a little too closely.

Alex still has a long way to go to unseat Sexy Rexy. So for now, we'll dub him the Sex Pistol. Mr. Smith, take down a few more Warriors Girls, or maybe some Raiderettes (*bonus points for rival cheerleaders) and we'll talk about upgrading your caliber.

Niners Tuesday: Excuses Are For Losers

Notes for this Tuesday:

• Shaun Alexander has a broken wrist. Jesus has offered to heal it by Sunday so Shaun can play. Don't expect much from him in pass catching or blocking situations, though.
• Some notes from Nolan's talk yesterday. Most notably, Larry Allen and Jonas Jennings apparently weren't fighting. It's too bad. As one commenter here observed, that would be an awful lot like a walrus fight. Put it on PPV and I'm there.
• Mark Clayton, on the importance of Casey Hampton on Sunday. He incorrectly asserts that this is the Niners third year in the 3-4, when it's really only the first. They have dabbled a little, but not had the correct personnel the last 2 seasons.
• As noted previously, VERNON is out for what looks like 2 games. Also in the article is the following from Coach Nolan, who refused to blame the refs. Saying:

  "Excuses are for losers."

Bravo, Coach Nolan. No one was happy about that call, but you seem committed to making this team strong enough where the balance of the game won't rest on one pivotal call that's out of your control. Did that call change the course of Sunday's game? Certainly. Would it have mattered if the 49ers had played lights out? Probably not. So work on the things you can control, and let us fans complain about the poor officiating.

I leave you with this:


- Mark Fucking Roman

VERNON DAVIS: Where Art Thou?

VERNON is out for a few weeks.

I mean, it's cool. Right? It's not like he was our only effective offensive weapon yesterday. That would totally invalidate all of Joe Nedney's hard work.

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Hannah:

49ers vs. Steelers: The Aftermath

Your monday Need More Nedney shot:

• Matt Barrows discusses Navies, the WRs and the officials. I wish I had read that before writing that last post. Could have saved myself a lot of time.

• The Chronicle recap. And game grades.

• Nancy Gay thinks the offense needs to air it out. I thought they were a hell of a lot better this week. But whatever.

• Mark Purdy also opines on the offense. Basically the yards were nice, but wins are nicer.

Niners Monday: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

So the perfect season is gone. I guess it was bound to happen, but I'm still a little disappointed. Let's go through the good, the bad and the ugly from yesterday:

The Good:

• Nate Clements. He has sold his soul to the devil. Or maybe he's just pounding red bulls on the sideline. Either way, he was FLYING all over the field. The play he made to drop Cedric Wilson on the reverse was incredible. If he doesn't make that tackle, Steelers have a huge gain, possibly a TD. Clements has been everything advertised and more.
• Patrick Willis. I've already professed my love for the rookie, and he did nothing to dissuade me yesterday. If he keeps making plays at this pace he'll be the best ILB in the division before long. Lofa Tatupu, lookout.
• Jim Hostler / Mike Nolan. We begged. We pleaded. We wrote you fake notes from your players. You listened. The game plan was varied, and there were a lot of wrinkles thrown in to give #11 a chance to succeed (i.e. play-action, bootlegs, etc). I still thought there were too many runs right into Casey Hampton's gut, and we were a little predictable on 2nd and long, but all in all, a huge improvement for the offense. There were averaging 180 and put up almost 280 against one of the NFL's toughest defensive units.
• Vernon Davis. You ran your mouth during the week. You delivered with some huge plays (one of which was negated by the refs, but we'll get to that). Key drop late in the game on 3rd down, though. Have you considered Stickum?
  
• Andy Lee. You keep this up and you'll find yourself in the pro-bowl, young man.
  

The Bad:

• The WRs. Combined, the top 3 had 8 catches for 122 yards. That should be the type of day that our #1 has by himself. The announcers got on Ashley Lelie for bad route running, and there were some dropped balls. All in all, the Niners need more from this unit. They're supposed to be upgraded. They need to prove it.
• Kick Coverage Unit. The Niners had a good amount of momentum coming off the opening drive. The return was killer. The Niners never led again on the day. It's tough enough to win on the road against a top-notch opponent. Spotting them an early lead makes it nigh impossible.
• Hannibal Navies. Despite a great start forcing a fumble, Navies was picked on all day by Pittsburgh. It seemed like every time I looked, they were running right at him, and with a lot of success. Add in his difficulty in covering Heath Miller, and it made it apparent that we will sorely miss Manny.
  
• The running game. Ultimately I'm not too concerned about this. The Pittsburgh defense did a great job. They're DL and linebackers are excellent, not to mention Palumalu back there. I thought, though, that Hostler could have gone for more plays off tackle to avoid the big boy in the middle, Mr. Hampton.
  

The Ugly:

• The Referees. They are the one and only ugly I have. The holding call on Nate Clements. The non-call when Roethlisberger intentionally grounded the ball. And the biggest mis-call of the day, Vernon's catch that was ruled incomplete. Just utter incompetence on the part of the officials. I would have been upset if they had called that an interception, but at least it would have made sense. The call was simply wrong. There was no possible way that ball was incomplete. It didn't hit the ground. And what was with "barely" got his feet down. Either he did or didn't. Barely doesn't mean shit. Ultimately, I can't say they cost the Niners the game. The Steelers played better than the Niners. But the refs did rob the Niners of a chance to be in the game late. Given their late-game heroics the last 2 weeks, I would have loved a chance to watch them duke it out in the 4th quarter yesterday.
  

Conclusions:

• Personally, I thought the 49ers played their best game of the year yesterday. The final score certainly doesn't indicate how close this game actually was. The key plays were the interception return and the kick-off return. To win on the road against a very opponent, you cannot spot them 14 points. The defense played great and would have put us right in the thick of things if the Steelers hadn't generated those points on defense/special teams. Though a victory would have been great, I'm coming out of this loss maybe even more upbeat than I was after the win last week. Seattle comes to town this week. This will give everyone a much better idea of how the division is going to shake out.
  

- Andy Fucking Lee

Oy Vey: 37-16

More to come tomorrow:

Daily Moment of Zen

Ms. Raquel

Manny's Greatest Hits

In tribute to Manny, I've compiled an album of his greatest segments from "Manny's Law" on 49ers.com. If one thing is for sure, it's that he'll be ready to go come next season:


Track #1: "Crafty"

I haven’t really gone anywhere since the season ended, and it seems like they are really trying to send me home. All I do is work out and run and watch film, and now I guess they are trying to send a strong hint that I need to go away, go on vacation or get away from football because they have taken my weight room away from me. I have been kicked to the curb.

They are calling it a “re-modeling” but they know that I don’t know of any gyms around here to go to, and I don’t have one in my little neighborhood. And I don’t understand this treatment. It’s not like I loiter or walk around the building aimlessly bothering everyone. I have my routine, come in and I leave. I don’t think they love me any more.

I guess it is good that they are renovating our weight room, changing it and making it more efficient to players’ needs, but what about mine?

But I figured something out. If they take everything out of the weight room, where are they going to put it? Well, I discovered that they just shifted it to our locker room, so I can just lift in there. There’s always a loophole so in a few hours, I’ll be back in here getting my swole on. I’m sure they are laughing and thinking, “Let’s see if Manny can find the bench press.” Well, I found it.

Track #2: "My Best Friends"

So in a nutshell, I’m friendless right now with not much to do, but I do have my chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. That’s really the only friend I need.

Track #3: "Gangrene"

Speaking of which, I almost died the other day. I was taking out the trash and we have to break down the boxes because otherwise the trash people will not pick them up. So I’m breaking down this box and I get a cardboard cut right on my finger. If I didn’t rush up to the bathroom, soak it, peroxide, Neosporin and band-aid it, I could have died. Paper cuts are the leading killer out there. People don’t know this, but it’s true. They get infected real easily, turn green, orange and blue and whatever gets cut, falls off. Seriously.

Track #4: "Unconstitutional"

Other things that should be unconstitutional - if you don’t have peanut butter for one. It should be against the law if you don’t like peanut butter and jelly. I’d make a fine president one day as you can tell.

Track #5: "Fore"

I left North Carolina and went to Youngstown, Ohio. Dr. York invited me and some other guys out for the De Bartolo golf tournament they have to raise money for high school students to go on to college. Myself, Adam Snyder, David Baas, Brandon Moore and Delanie Walker all went to golf, and I’m not too sure any of us know how to golf very well. One time David and I were on two separate holes but his ball came over to my hole so I told him not to even worry about it because I was pretty sure when I teed off that my ball was going to travel towards his hole and we could just switch. It happened as I expected and I played his ball and he played mine.

I think they need to come up with another term rather than fore. That doesn’t seem to really get people to move. I teed off and sure enough I knew where my ball was going to go and I tried to warn them. Everyone was looking up, I said move, get out of the way, duck, run, protect yourself and that FINALLY got people to move. It happened to be David’s group so when he heard FORE, he didn’t hesitate like the rest of his group. I swore I saw him under the golf cart. As for the others, I can almost bet one of them got hit, so I apologize for that.

I blame my dismal golf game on the fact that I was golfing with clubs that were clearly made for Smurfs, you know the little blue people. These clubs were just not designed for a person of my unique golfing talents (and really my height).

Basically, Manny Lawson is the man.

Manny oh Manny: The Day After

So we've all had a day to digest the news that Mr. Lawson will miss the rest of the season with a torn ACL. Now it's time to figure out a replacement. The leading candidates are Hannibal Navies, Parys Haralson and Brandon Moore. The articles on the subject:

• Chronicle
• Press-Democrat
• Sac-Bee
  

I'm thinking that Navies will get the job in the short-term due to his relative experience at the position, but both Moore and Haralson will have every opportunity to win the job this season. Moore was our defensive player of the year last year, and I felt that he earned himself a spot out there. Obviously P-Willis was just too good to keep down, but if this is an opportunity to get Brandon out there again, I hope he seizes it.

Other articles on the day:

• Ray Ratto explores what the fallout on offense will be. I can't stand Ray Ratto.
• Billy Bajema is back. And other assorted notes.
• Jacobs or Lelie for 3rd WR?

Update: There's a great article by Ann Killion of the SJ Mercury News that sums up my feelings on Alex Smith perfectly.

- Harris Fucking Barton

Niners Friday: Let's Do This

Because we need to get down and dirty this Sunday:

More to follow today...

Whatever Happened to: OJ Simpson

So I've been wanting to do one of those series "Whatever Happened to" and I thought what better time to start than the present. Right? Carpe diem or something.


Our first piece is on a guy you may not remember was a 49er. I'd lost track of him in the last ten or 15 years, but after doing some research it turns out he's been up to a lot of interesting stuff.

OJ Simpson is a Hall of Famer and former Heisman Trophy winner who spent almost all of his career with the Buffalo Bills. OJ played his final 2 seasons with his hometown 49ers before retiring to a career of acting and broadcasting.

I was wondering what happened to him after broadcasting, and apparently in 1994 he was arrested for murdering his ex-wife after some sort of car chase. I guess this was a big deal at the time. Go figure.

OJ was eventually acquitted in October of 1995, leading to race riots much rejoicing in the black communities of LA. Following the acquittal, OJ travelled the country tirelessly searching golf courses everywhere for the real killer.

All seemed hunky dory in the land of Simpson until the greedy family of his dead wife filed a civil lawsuit. The nerve! OJ was ordered to pay $33,500,000 in damages. Holy crap. She was one expensive woman. Remind me to check the price tag before I pick one out. In February '99 an auction of Simpson's Heisman Trophy and other belongings netted almost $500,000 for the Goldman family. He moved from California to Miami in hopes of having a better shot at finding the real killer. Oh and in Florida a person's residence cannot be seized to collect a debt under most circumstances. I guess that was nice, too.

Get this, though. The story doesn't end there. Crazy shit, I know. So late last year our boy OJ, looking to make some cash, wrote a book "If I Did It: Confessions of a Killer". Brilliant move, if you ask me. Strike while the iron's hot, OJ! He never did get it out on shelves, though. Who knows what the holdup was. It's not like it's insensitive... she's dead. But, whatevs.


[vibe]

Moving on... most recently OJ has been chilling with a crew he put together in Las Vegas. Last week he decided to enact some justice of his own and take back what's rightfully his... his All-American Ball, for example. Think Ocean's 13, only grittier. This seems like the true American entrepreneurial spirit if you ask me. OJ and several of his cohorts busted in to a memorabilia dealer's hotel room with automatics out and stole reclaimed OJ's rightfully owned gear. Apparently, though, holding up a person and robbing them at gunpoint is some sort of "felony". I thought those sorts of shenanigans were allowed in Las Vegas. Isn't it supposed to be the "wild wild west"? Originally denied bail, the judge reconsidered and set it $125,000. Anyway, our man Juice is now out on bail and back in Miami. Here's what his lawyer had to say:

(h/t With Leather)

Just goes to show that what goes on in Vegas, does not always stay in Vegas.

I don't know how I've missed all this. But there you have it: Whatever Happened to OJ Simpson. Next week maybe we'll do JJ Stokes. That should be a hell of a lot shorter.

Just in case you're feeling adventurous [ebay]

Daily Moment of Zen

Katie is here to cheer us all up following the devastating Manny news:

Update: Nooooooooooo

Say it ain't so, Manny.

Niners Thursday: Interoffice Comminque

Continuing our Steve Young theme this week:

Not a lot of news today. We'll be back later with some more Niners related material, though:

• VERNON stepped up and talked to Nolan. Good for him.

• I've also fabricated a note I believe to be from VD to Coach Nolan, though its origins are currently unconfirmed

• I usually like SFist. But this is just creepy

• Frank Gore will be back in practice today
  

• The natives are restless over at Crumpacker's blog

Looking for free Niner's tickets?

Frisco Fitted (quietly) has your back. This guy is a gem:

Your Daily Moment of Zen

Enjoy.

Niners Wednesday: Baby Turds & Other Assorted Items

Was Steve Young the best running QB of all time? Or at least the best who isn't currently in prison for dog fighting?

• Power Rankings are out today for most sites:
• ESPN
• CBS
• Extra Mustard
  
• USA Today
• Check these out if you want some perspective on the current team
  

• Matt Maiocco offers another take on Alex Smith's performance against STL. It might not have been the big turd that 11 of 17 for 126yds would lead you to believe. It was more like a cute little baby turd.

• Alex Smith gives his take on 49ers.com. Some excerpts:
• "I know that the receivers would like to get more balls and as a quarterback, I want to throw the ball too and get us to that point, but those guys are also very selfless. They realize how big these wins are and how important they are. We know we need to throw the ball to win, and we’ll get to that point. It’s a long season."

• "All in all, we got the victory and it feels great to be 2-0, and the encouraging thing is we know we can play so much better on offense. We know we can become more balanced and really increase our production but at the end of the day wins are what count and we are 2-0. I think pulling out two wins like that says a lot about this team. I’d rather have the game we did that was ugly and not a lot of productivity than be the Rams at 0-2. They’ve thrown for a lot of yards and put up some great numbers but they’ve got back-to-back losses. I’d rather be in our position at the top of the NFC West. We want to get it going and get it clicking and we know that’s something we’ve got to do to meet our expectations this season, but I’m also confident that it is going to come."

So everyone's saying the right things. That's all well and good, but I'll believe it when I see them actually open up the playbook this Sunday. The dropped balls will have to be caught, and the O-line will need to give protection, especially on the play action. If those 2 things happen, though, I feel good about putting it in Smith's hands. At the very least, we'll find out what we really have in #11.

• Matt Barrows of the Sac Bee agrees, and notes that on all 5 plays the 49ers had 1st and 14 or greater they ran the ball. Not exactly aggressive playcalling.
  

And last, but certainly not least:

• Frank Gore is Kige's MVP! Congrats, Frank. Your trophy is in the mail.

- OJ Fucking Simpson

Niners Tuesday: Moving Day

Morning, kids.

So it's become time to make the move from e-mail to the more accessible & versatile blogging format. Using inspiration from a t-shirt, we're gonna go with "West Coast Offensive" as the handle for now. Feel free to leave comments or send in tips. Let's get on with it, huh?

Wow. This looks really good.

The man crush grows:

Seriously... go vote for the guy.

San Fran: Baltimore West? I've seen "The Wire". I think we're safe for now.

Mike Nolan's getting a little testy, though, about the rumors that he's a pussy little too conservative.

Fox Sports power rankings are out. Top 10, baby.

A little Bill Walsh, just for posterity.

- Lance Fucking Schulters

Niners Monday: 2-0 Edition

Morning, gents. How about it? Another ugly win. Things could improve, but it's sure more satisfying than an ugly loss. Before we get going, I present:

Your 49er Stand-in of the Day

Frank Gore, Honorary Secretary of the Spring View Cricket & Recreation Club in Lancashire England.

Frank has had a long and distinguished career with the Club and after hanging up his bat in 1997 has remained heavily involved. Acting as a liaison to the younger members of the club and active in recruiting new members, Frank has served as Honorary Secretary since 2004.














Good on ya, Frank!


So this is it boys. The 49ers are now 2-0 and well on their way to a perfect 19-0 season. If anything has become clear, though, it's that the offense refuses to make it easy on the D. Jim Hostler, the offensive coordinator, once again rolled out an extremely conservative game plan. How obvious was it when the Niners got the ball back with 3:00 and a one point lead that they were going to run it up the middle 3 times in a row? There was more play-action today, but the crucial 3rd down plays were uninspired and predictable. Frank Gore is a stud, and can be a workhorse, but it doesn't do any good if you only get 8 first downs. If the passing game is working and the ball is moving, he'll get his shots.

The defense once again looked great. Nate Clements is already paying huge dividends, and our young linebackers Willis and Lawson looked excellent. Let's hope for their sake that the offense gets a little fed up of spoon feeding and takes some bites at the Steelers next week. Just my $0.02.

Alright, the recaps:

• First off... I NMN ("need more Nedney").

• Nolan's post-game conference. In video form, no less. My heavens the internet is a wonderful place.

• Ratto weighs in on ugly. If anybody knows ugly inside & out it is Ray Ratto.

• Game grades from the Chron. Oy vey the offense is bad.

• But there's a simple solution. VERNON DAVIS.

There's more recaps around in the Sac Bee, Chron, San Jose Mercury News, etc. I'm going to cut it off here and get on with my Monday morning.


Here's to 2-0 and the division lead.

- Lee Fucking Woodall