Norv Does It Again

On Sunday we were reminded again why we need Norv Turner back. Not only did his team beat the Indianapolis Colts, thus securing the Niners the 28th pick in the draft rather than the 31st. But he did it in incredibly unspectacular fashion, thus advancing the Bring Norv Back movement.

Norv, please keep up the great work.

We miss you.

Niners Tuesday: MNF Wrap-up

Emmitt Smith with a breakdown of the Niners offensive woes:


Wait. What?

Niners Friday: We're Sorry, Too

Nancy's Gay's piece today pretty much sums it up.

Oh, and the stadium in Santa Clara is screwed up again. Those Yorks sure know how to run a top-notch organization.

Niners Thursday: Is It Over yet?

Mixed it up a little yesterday. Today let's catch up on the happenings around the team:

• Roderick Green was re-signed to be a pass rushing threat. You mean the current guys aren't getting it done? I hadn't noticed. Also, the team canceled practice yesterday. Because, let's be honest, they're just too good for that shit.

• Justin Smiley joins Jonas Jennings on the "done for the year" tip. I think we've seen the last of Mr. Smiley in a 49ers uniform. Good thing we went out and got Joe Staley to shore up the line. I forget what we gave up to get him, whatever it was, it was a steal.

• Generic - "49ers are terrible" article. Except that Crumpacker blames Norv, too. We need you, Norv. You hear me? We need you.

• Mid-season grades. It's not pretty. What a revelation Andy Lee has been, though.

• Shaun Alexander is questionable for Monday. Whoot.

That's about it fo the link-fest that was today's post. Just a reminder to get your madlib letters to the 49ers. Hell, if you cc me, I'll post them up here, too. Creativity, folks. That's the ticket.

Ughh

Schrager nails it. I usually enjoy his buffet columns. Today was just painful to read.

Niners Wednesday: Norv in '08

It is time, folks, to step up and heed your duty as 49ers fans. Before we begin, I will present some statistics:

Yards/Game: 224.3 (32 out of 32)
Rush Yards/Game: 91.5 (26 out of 32)
Pass Yards/Game: 132.8 (32 out of 32)
Points/Game: 13.0 (31 out of 32)

The offense has been horrid. Andy Lee is the current MVP. Frank Gore has made comments about the players not having confidence in Jim "Hoss" Hostler. Which is why the royal we here at West Coast Offensive are kicking off our very first letter writing campaign. This is a 2 part full on blitzkrieg that we expect to result in the return of Norv, and ultimately a place in the playoffs.

Because we despise form letters, though, we've thoughtfully made our letter a madlib. If you don't know how to fill out a madlib, you were probably abused and neglected as a child. We apologize on behalf of your parents. Let the campaign commence:

Dearest Coach Nolan,

First, I would like to begin by saying that you look absolutely ____________(adj.) in those suits. And your new goatee really brings out your ____________(n.).

I am writing to you about the offensive woes of your team, our team, the 49ers. It is painful for me that the team has played so ____________(adv.) and I'm sure it's only worse for you. I mean, seriously, they have been completely ____________(adj.). They would stand a better chance if they were a ____________(n.) fighting a ____________(n.). The stench coming off of this team is worse than a ___________(n.) covered in ___________(n.).

But I'm truly not here to criticize. I'm here to ___________(v.). It seems that a large part of the problem is that ____________(n.), Hostler. The players don't trust him, and haven't been able to execute his ____________(adv.) thought out schemes. Which is why, to return to respectability, I suggest re-hiring the man, the myth, the ___________(n.), Norv Turner. Norv has been a rousing failure in San Diego, and it is time they _________(v.) his ass. So why not speed up the process a little bit and bribe them with ___________(n. pl.)? The Chargers will be ____________(adj.) to get rid of him, and he cannot possibly be any ___________(adv.) than Hostler.

So let's get this ball rolling. VERNON is a ____________(n.), and the running game looks to be coming around. How about jump starting this whole thing with a little bit 'o Norv?

You're the ____________(n.).

Salutations.

______________________(your name or your favorite psuedonym)

Letters that have been completed can be sent to:
Mike Nolan
c/o San Francisco 49ers
4949 Centennial Blvd.
Santa Clara, CA 95054

or MNolan@niners.nfl.com


I'm going to see if we can get some Chargers fans on the bandwagon as well, and really make this a duel pronged approach. Kind of like an Eiffel Tower. With Norv Turner in the middle. Gross.

So go ahead. Write a letter. In fact, it's your duty. If you don't, you probably don't believe in democracy. Or Eddie D's right to riverboat gambling. And that, my friend, is the real tragedy here.

Daily Moment of Zen

Niners Tuesday: Fire Nolan Now!

Naw... just kidding. I like Nolan. And his snappy dressing. But the hounds have been unleashed:

• Exhibit I

• Exhibit B

• Exhibit 3

So here we are at 2-6, with the Colts 1st round pick in the next draft. Things are looking bleak. There is little hope for a turnaround this year, especially with all the injuries. Right?

The crazy part? With a win on Monday, the 49ers will be only a game out of 1st place. Things are bad, yes. But let's not lose all hope yet. The atrocious NFC west provides some opportunities for wins, and wins beget confidence, something that has been sorely lacking.

Get a chip on your collective shoulder, boys. Otherwise all I can do is root against the Colts and hope for a pick somewhere in the top 20 (which we all know isn't going to happen unless there's a severe mechanical malfunction with Peyton Manning's laser rocket arm).

Niners Monday: They Are Who We Thought They Were

Surprise! The 49ers lost again. Who would have thought?

Against a very bad 1-6 Falcons team, the 49ers couldn't manage to keep their proverbial mistake monster in their proverbial pants, proverbially speaking, that is. Bad defense, dropped passes and turnovers killed any chance the Niners had to steal a win in the ATL (you know it's bad when you have to "steal" one from a one-win team).

Here's all the round-up I have the heart to read:

• Game grades. The Niners are posting a solid 1.7 GPA for the year.

• Here's an idea I endorse fully. Speed up the O. Spread offense? Why not? It can't be worse than what's currently going on out there. And successful or not, it'll be a hell of a lot more fun to watch. Which is Mike Nolan's job. To entertain me.

• The Niners had their best rushing day of the year yesterday. Hopefully this is more of an indictment of the Atlanta defense than Frank Gore. Either way, good for you Mo Hicks. Mr. Robinson, fumble aside, you also had a nice day.

• And here's just what we needed to see. My personal man-crush, P. Willis, broke a bone in his hand. He's not expected to miss action. But honestly, can anything else possibly go wrong for this team? I'm half expecting to hear that a case of the mumps has hit team HQ and the entire secondary will be out for Monday night.

• Seriously. This is outrageous.

• Ray Ratto. Please stop typing your overly complicated prose, in which you actually say nothing new. It's just annoying.

At least we can still count on Moran:

Niners Friday: And We're Back

If I could condense this 49ers season into one evening, it would pretty much look like this this.

After a few days off to rest, and collect myself, WCO is back and will be operating in full next week.

A few thoughts on this season:

• The weight of the expectations coming in has made this 5 game slide much more excruciating.

• As has the 2-0 start and the excitement it brought with it.

• The offense is horribly boring to watch. If I did not root for the 49ers, I would not even consider watching their games.

• The defense has been hit and miss, but the last couple weeks it has looked like much more missing than hitting.

• Mike Nolan needs to get his guys up. For the most part they are all still saying the right things. But this season the 49ers have the personnel to be a competitive team. On Sundays they have not been executing. That certainly rests on the players, but a good coach will bring out the best from his players. That has not been happening as of yet.

• The veterans need to step up. Some of the weakest performances and biggest mistakes have come from the older guys on the team. Jonas Jennings and Larry Allen, I'm looking at you. Joe Nedney, you can't be sending kick-offs out of bounds.

• This season is not lost. For all the despair right now, the 49ers were 2-5 last year, and ended up very much in the playoff hunt. Especially in a weak NFC West, nothing is over.

• The Atlanta Falcons are the perfect team to play right now, if the 49ers are going to turn this around.

Being a 24 year old 49ers fan, it's difficult to have the perspective of some of the old-timers. For the vast majority of my life the 49ers have been super bowl contenders. I didn't have to live through the lean times of the Steve DeBerg era. The expectations are high, and it's extremely frustrating to have this storied franchise not in the title hunt. That said, I still think they are on the right track, and the next time they get there it is going to be all the sweeter because we're living through this heartburn inducing era.

Until then, we can still cherish the fact that the 49ers are one of the most storied franchises in all of sports, and we were lucky enough to witness it: